If it's not ok then it's not the end

Every single aspect of my life is a fucking failure. I can’t stop crying right now and my boyfriend doesn’t give a shit.

I’m unable to make friends, unable to stay among people because it means shutting my mouth to avoid expressing who I really am and what I really think. This is not something I can do, integrate myself in a group of people. I say something they think I’m weird, and if I don’t they think I’m cold.

Because of my desperate inability to make contacts I dropped college so I’m now an uneducated person. Because I can’t make friends I’ll never manage to pursue an art career, good projects are always offered to people who know people who know people.

I don’t even have a way to know if I’m good at art or not, I’m so unpopular ! Nobody ever notices me on DeviantArt, only a few friends take time to comment on my artwork. Strips I make for some website are always bad rated and get awfully mean comments. I don’t know if I should try harder or just stop trying because I’m lame.

Worst thing is I know I’m sacrificing a lot to stay with my boyfriend right now and yeah, yeah, I’m supposed to have a good life and I should not complain, but one day we will not be together anymore ; when he’ll grow tired of me or when I’ll grow tired of being the only one to talk. And then…

I don’t know where I’m going. Don’t know what I should do. Don’t know what I want.

I want to draw. And drop some weight. And stop being so ashamed of myself.

So, it’s been a while since I felt that much like a complete piece of shit ! I have to embrace the fact that I suck at drawing. I will never manage to do something in this business. People will never take me seriously. I’m such a waste of time ! Everything’s turning really really bad today. Don’t know how this fucking day will end.

This awful moment when…

… something makes you cry and your mom and sis don’t wanna talk about it.

… you feel lonelier when surrounded by your family than when you’re all alone at home.

… you feel YOU are the one who shouldn’t be here. Who doesn’t belong here. Nor there. Nor anywhere.

Why the hell did someone like me, a car/road/drivers hater, accept to go on a road trip ? Haaaa I’m so dumb !

Plus I thought a boy with a GPS was the worst thing ever, well I was wrong. Girls with a lame sense of orientation and unable to read a map are worse !

*sigh* This depressing moment when your favorite band notices some annoying bitches you know among their fans but don’t give attention to you.

Am I not too old to be jealous ?

These nights when I want to blow my boyfriend’s head off like raspberry jam… fuck, why is he forced to talk about what’s wrong on my drawing for HOURS ? Shut the fuck up seriously ! And try to draw something else than stick figures before ruining every single detail of a piece that took me hours to achieve ! Thanks !

youngwildthingstour:

stop complaining about pete wentz’s penis being on your dash okay

he has a nice penis.

Stop complaining because we basically have NEVER seen his penis, just a part of it. Most of the length was hidden. It’s just like seeing a cleavage : you see a good part of the boobs but not the most important.

(Source: fuckcareful, via libera-eas-de-ore-leonis-deacti)